


Crying on the kitchen floor

by cruelladevilline



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Also kinda short, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Breakup, Connor is trying okay, Established Relationship, Fighting, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Super angsty, Swearing, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, im probably going to re-write this eventually, like they are really ooc, oh no shes writing at 2 am again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 14:27:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15366645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cruelladevilline/pseuds/cruelladevilline
Summary: "You're always like this! It feels like we're always fighting! I fucking hate it! I hate you!”“I know! I hate me more!” Evan yelled, tears finally spilling from his eyes as he choked down gulps of air. He was panting heavily, near hyperventilating now as he shook, eyes frantically scanning around the room.The room went silent, as Connor processed the words he had just said, regret flooding him. The fight instantly left him as he looked at Evan's trembling form.“Love.. We've talked about this.” Connor whispered softly, his shoulders slumping as he carefully approached Evan.orThe one where Connor and Evan have a fight and breakup, angst ensures





	Crying on the kitchen floor

The recently cooked pasta lay on the floor forgotten, the dish it was resting on having been thrown in the chaos.  
A disagreement turned argument that Evan can't even remember was about, with the constant yelling.

“Shit, you just couldn't let it go, could you?” Connor yelled, walking around the kitchen island again before slamming his hands on the counter, “It's always fucking like this with you, shit you probably wanted this, right? Right!”

“No, Connor- I, I didn't mean to-” Evan explained, near tears and panic creeping its way up his throat. He felt like he could barely breathe, his throat closing up and burning with the lack of oxygen. His thoughts were racing, trying to do anything so Connor would calm down.

The rest of Evan's explanation cut off by Connor streaming off more profanities, “I'm sure you think I'm some crazy-ass kid, who can't keep his shit together! You probably all think that, right? The only reason we're together is so you can make fun of me!” He screamed, trembling in rage. “Well you know, maybe I'm not the fucking crazy one! I'm not the one who can barely talk to people or go to school without having a meltdown like some freak!” He ranted off, words spewing faster than he could keep up with. “You're always like this! It feels like we're always fighting! I fucking hate it! I hate you!”

“I know! I hate me more!” Evan shot back, tears finally spilling from his eyes as he choked down gulps of air. He was panting heavily, near hyperventilating now as he shook, eyes frantically scanning around the room.

The room went silent, as Connor processed the words he had just said, regret flooding him. The fight instantly left him as he looked at Evan's trembling form.

“Love.. We've talked about this.” Connor whispered softly, his shoulders slumping as he carefully approached Evan. Hesitantly reaching a hand out to him, before backing away when he flinched harshly. Evan frantically wiped the tears from his face, making only more come in their tracks. He fell against the counter, bringing his legs to his chest, balling up on the floor.

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry-ImsorryImsorryImsorry,” Evan repeated, the words slipping from his mouth as he sits there, sobs near wracking his fragile frame. “I know, I'm a freak, I can hardly keep things together, I know. I hate me too, It's okay, I'm sorry.”

Cautiously Connor sat down next to Evan, whispering soft reassurances, trying to get him to calm down. As Evan's anxiety eased, Connor had wrapped his arms around him, rubbing circles into his back, easing him down from his panic.

“It's not okay, Connor,” Evan spoke up, his voice cracking, as he slowly pushed him away. His panic attack now forgotten with the pressing issue that was now at hand.

“I know, I know, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it,” Connor whispered in reply, staring at the floor shamefully, regret still flooding every inch of him.

“You don't. You don't know.” The anguish in Evan's voice made Connor look up, startled. “I can't keep doing this with you. It can't keep happening. I-” Evan's voice broke off as he shook his head.

“I'm working on it Ev..”

“I know you are,” He glanced at Connor, hesitation clear in his voice. “I just don't think I can work on it with you anymore.”

Connor felt his entire body tensing, Evan's words finally processing in his head. He let out a whimper like gasp, before finally muttering out “Oh.”

The two sat in a tense silence for what felt like an eternity. But was really only a few minutes. The words he had said to Evan, playing on a constant repeat in his head, wishing more than anything he could take them back. The harsh realization of what Evan said spiraling him in a near panic. “You want to-” Connors' voice broke off, a muffled sob coming off at the end. His heart was squeezing painfully, his throat was burning from the lack of oxygen. He couldn't breathe. The heavy, anxious, nauseating pain that comes with Evan's words only steer him in a downward spiral. 

“You should go.” Evan choked out, his head burrowed in his knees. 

He couldn't see his face, he couldn't make out his thoughts. Only could hear Evan's broken voice, laced with heavy emotion. All he could see was the broken form of his ex-lover trembling on the floor. Because of him. Because of what he said. The lack of oxygen made Connor's head swim, and his vision blurry as he stood.

Evan only heard the front door click shut before breaking down in more sobs. He didn't get up until Heidi found him, still sobbing on the kitchen floor. Her frantic questions of what happened, and are you okays, only making him break down further.

**Author's Note:**

> hi i suck at writing  
> \+ also, I do think Connor would say these things due to his explosive personality when mad ie when he called evan a freak with the letter incident, even when tree boi was trying to explain


End file.
